...Flashlights don't complain when you fondle them. In fact, they love it!
...When a flashlight stops doing what you want you can toss it and get a new one.
...Flashlight getting boring showing its age? Mod it and make it new and exciting! Your woman is getting boring and showing her age? Yeah...good luck with that.
...My flashlights don't get jealous if I lust over a new one.
...You can own more than one flashlight and they all get along and don't care!
I could go on but I'll let some others contribute