Author Topic: Holy crap! This is some funny sh!t!  (Read 3024 times)

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Offline JohnnyMac

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Holy crap! This is some funny sh!t!
« on: November 07, 2014, 08:49:09 PM »
If you're at work, close your office door before reading this.  if you don't have an office clamp a hand over your mouth and use your mouse hand to scroll as you read.  Oh man, I was busting up laughing so loud at work reading this!

Why taking a dump in a Kohlís dressing room is never a good idea


...But the hysterics turned into hysteria when a visitor entered my dressing room.
In the interest of full disclosure, I did lock the door before I went in there. But what came into that
dressing room cannot be turned back by a $5 door bolt from Home Depot. It came in through, under,
and over the door. It seeped through the cracks in the walls and tumbled down from the ceiling...

Offline 18sixfifty

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Re: Holy crap! This is some funny sh!t!
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2014, 04:19:21 AM »
Oh crap that's funny! I wonder if it was my buddy Ron. It sounds like it could have been.

One time we had a Red Wings (Stanly Cup) party at his house. Probably about 20 of us or so watching on his big screen. Keg of beer all kinds of food, our band set up, stuff like that. Well Ron's Father in law lives with him and his Father in Laws girlfriend is a bit of a Bee itch. She had parked herself on Ron's wife's computer and wouldn't get off. Ron's wife must have asked her ten times if she would please log off.

Well Ron being his usual gassy self noticed what was going on and walks by and cranks one loose right next to her. Silent but deadly but Ron being a joker let all of us but her know by bending over just before he did it. This old lady starts fanning the air and coughing but still doesn't get off the computer. Ron does this three times and each time he gets louder and more obnoxious about it. The last time he puts his rear end right next to her ear and cranks a loud one loose.

We were all just dying laughing, it cleared the room because it was that bad. So now we are all outside crying and laughing and wiping our eyes. The old witch still didn't get out of the seat though. But dang was it funny.

Believe it or not that is just one of dozens of Ron farts/shits himself or pees someplace he shouldn't stories. He is the lead guitars in one of my bands and playing gigs with that gassy fool is a riot, but practice sessions in small rooms can really be rough on the old nasal cavities. 

Offline JohnnyMac

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Re: Holy crap! This is some funny sh!t!
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2014, 12:33:27 AM »
Oh crap that's funny! I wonder if it was my buddy Ron. It sounds like it could have been.

One time we had a Red Wings (Stanly Cup) party at his house. Probably about 20 of us or so watching on his big screen. Keg of beer all kinds of food, our band set up, stuff like that. Well Ron's Father in law lives with him and his Father in Laws girlfriend is a bit of a Bee itch. She had parked herself on Ron's wife's computer and wouldn't get off. Ron's wife must have asked her ten times if she would please log off.

Well Ron being his usual gassy self noticed what was going on and walks by and cranks one loose right next to her. Silent but deadly but Ron being a joker let all of us but her know by bending over just before he did it. This old lady starts fanning the air and coughing but still doesn't get off the computer. Ron does this three times and each time he gets louder and more obnoxious about it. The last time he puts his rear end right next to her ear and cranks a loud one loose.

We were all just dying laughing, it cleared the room because it was that bad. So now we are all outside crying and laughing and wiping our eyes. The old witch still didn't get out of the seat though. But dang was it funny.

Believe it or not that is just one of dozens of Ron farts/shits himself or pees someplace he shouldn't stories. He is the lead guitars in one of my bands and playing gigs with that gassy fool is a riot, but practice sessions in small rooms can really be rough on the old nasal cavities.
Hahaha! There isn't much that's as funny as a good fart/poop story. At least not to my sophomoric sensibilities. :P

Offline WarHawk-AVG

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Re: Holy crap! This is some funny sh!t!
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2014, 10:09:33 AM »
Hey now!

Quote
absolutely uncoils a five-star, MVP-caliber fart. It was one of those epic sonofabitches that gets a second wind halfway through and grows louder. It sounded like he was trying to start an old tractor.

I resemble that remark

Those are the kinds of farts that you blow out and feel better afterwards and you can swear your pants fit better!

Wanna know funny...blast one in the tub, the sound will reverberate thru the walls of the tub like a bass drum only gurglier...don't ask me how I know :P


« Last Edit: December 10, 2014, 10:10:42 AM by WarHawk-AVG »

Offline JohnnyMac

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Re: Holy crap! This is some funny sh!t!
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2014, 04:15:37 PM »
LOL...and they always smell different after being filtered through water like that.